I Need A Banner

I was sitting here watching Friday the 13th on Spike TV drinking wine (lame, because of commercials) and thinking I need a good banner for the Cavalcade of Perversions. Being that I have no graphic design savvy whatsoever, I thought I would appeal to you, my good readers, to provide. I want something sideshow banner-esque with a perverted feel, but of course, and I am hoping one of you can provide. My title is looking a little lame, as it were, and I need something with panache. I can't say that I can pay you, if you choose to accept the task of designing me a stellar looking banner to grace ye' ol' blog, but I can likely hook you up with a vhs tape or two and/or the esteemed honor of having developed the banner for the esteemed (ahem) blog that I write. Help me out guys! I'm trying to look all professional and shit.